The Daily Splash

The Daily Splash finally graduated today approximately 20 years after first starting at Newcastle University, despite the presence of a presumed dangerous leopard that was spotted at the ceremony. Even taking a job there and attempting to sneak to academic achievement by the back door had failed, and had not resulted in the much-coveted invitation to join the Newcastle University Alumni Association and be spammed relentlessly for ever with adverts for reunions with people you never liked and blatent  requests for cash. Yes.

Catherine Douglas (nee Bertenshaw) was today confirmed as the winner of the 2009 Ig Nobel prize for veterinary medicine for her research on “cows with names produce more milk”. This is for science research that “makes you laugh then makes you think.”

Flora is pictured being indoctrinated by spending time in a field with cows, special treat for her 4 week birthday….

BBC on line report

The Guardian

Times On-Line

Catherine is dicovering that some research does get recognised by non-scientists after all.

After many years of getting up at 4am to observe the behaviour of cows in the milking parlour
Catherine is now having to get up at this ungodly hour again, only this time to give radio and TV interviews relating to her “happy cow research”.

Newspaper articles on the subject,

Telegraph, BBC website, Guardian, Metro

Newcastle Journal

Radio:

Radio 4 Today, Radio 5 LIve Drive

BBC Look North article:

Work seemed to be getting easier from now on

Dr Catherine Bertenshaw is pleased to announce she has recently begun a new job – she is now the North East Manager at VETNET, or to give her the full title, VETNET Lifelong Learning Network Regional Manager (North East & Yorkshire), School of Agriculture, Food and Rural Development.

She is very pleased to have the new job although she admits she will miss her special relationship with the famously temperamental photocopier at Houghall College. When asked to comment on what exactly the new job involved she looked slightly shifty and pretended to choke on her cocktail.

“I’m not exactly sure,” she eventually revealed, “but whatever it is, it can’t be any worse than being chased around Houghall by the lawnmower man.”

When asked if she will miss anything else about her old job she pointed out “one thing that is definitely better in real academia is the creative use of coarse language. You haven’t heard swearing until you have sat in a meeting of the AFRD steering group.” Dr Bertenshaw explained that only 12 months earlier she had been hauled before a disciplinary panel at Houghall merely for “gently expressing my opinion on the college’s disastrously run IT system to a junior IT worker.”

Happily the recipient of her impromptu IT lecture has now recovered with the aid of expert counselling and can now hear the word “fuck” without bursting into tears.