The Daily Splash

XLR8R in early 90’s glamourous pomp

Fans of nearly-famous 90s heavy metal band XLR8R were in a frenzy today when it was announced that their long-lost classic album, “Hair Today…” had been rediscovered in an attic.

Former bass-god Simon Douglas, now sadly lacking his once-famous tresses, was ecstatic. “This could be what the music world has been waiting for” he said, “we have been putting up with rubbish like Oasis, Keane, Coldplay and Razorlight for long enough – this could represent a long overdue return for heavy metal!”

When contacted for her verdict however, fiancée Catherine declared the masterwork “crap” and claimed she would never have agreed to marry a “greasy long-hair hippy dropout bass-player” if he hadn’t cleaned up his act and got a proper job, and in addition”, she added, needlessly, “all this wailing about nothing and widdly-widdly, Judas Priest-style guitar solos just make me want to tear my own hair out.”